Closeup of multicolored hangers in a closet

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  1. My main problem with clutter is my husband’s large vinyl record collection presently stored in boxes in our basement. Also he has other collections – comic books and other items in boxes and stored in two of our three bedroom home. Our town house is about 16 years old and in need of an update and repair. My husband is not well and started a couple of painting projects last Spring, but has yet to finish them. It’s really getting to me. I keep bringing up what needs to be done and suggest hiring a painter to finish the touchups but it just irritates my husband and causes unhappiness. I’ve read several books on clearing clutter including the KonMari method. I continue to clear my own clutter as much as I can, but since most of it is his, I don’t dare say anything. I’m finding myself getting more and more depressed and discouraged as nothing seems to get resolved. I worry about when the time comes to sell our home, how will we be able to even list it if we don’t get the needed work done?

  2. i live in a clutter chaos apartment with my husband and our 4-month old son. I’m struggling with depression -some of it clutter related- and other health issues which the depression can hinder. I keep trying to do decent chunks of getting rid of things that don’t serve us anymore and make small dents, yet my husband comes home and just plops down and makes a mess with food wrappers, britches and socks, and usually messes up an area i’ve worked on.

    How do you defeat this kind of crap? I feel like the effort is worthless as he won’t help or respect what I can get done when I’m mentally let alone physically able. I gave up trying to make a habit tracker, food log, prayer log and stuff in a journal because everyone thought I spent all day doodling instead of understanding what I was telling it was for. But if he were the one in my boat, it’d be important.

    I feel like KonMari could help our household recover from the clutter that followed us from the previous toxic rental we lived in, which cause a lot of my health issues now. BUT how do I get others to respect the progress (even small) and maybe help out? Sure he runs the business but damn…

    1. Hey Jen! It sounds like you’ve got a real tough situation on your hands. I’ve had some boundary issues in the past with my husband, Jon, that we had to get through. It wasn’t fun, but it was important for my mental health and our relationship.

      A few years ago, I was trying to make a habit of writing my Morning Pages ( ) every day, and he kept interrupting me while I was writing and not respecting my space. Eventually, I had to have a firm but unpleasant laying down the law talk where I told him that I needed him to NOT disturb me during that 30 minutes. Journal writing is not a team sport, and he needed to butt out. He was a bit offended at first, but he didn’t realize how important it was to me until I got serious and communicated my needs. Now, years later, he knows that only in a true emergency can he bother me while I’m writing my pages and he respects that this ritual is important to me.

      If you don’t write in a journal, I would recommend that you start. It sounds like you are frustrated with your situation and could benefit from a place to vent and figure out how to handle problems. Writing in my journal has helped me more than I could possibly say, and it’s basically free to do so (barring the cost of getting a journal, though you can use a 97 cent notebook).

      I would also suggest looking into couple’s therapy. It sounds like you and your husband are not on the same page, and for your own mental health and your relationship’s health, you need to feel like you are being heard. Jon and I had a couple’s therapist for a long time just to make sure to address problems before they got out of hand, and we grew a lot together through that process. I also have benefited from my own individual therapist without Jon present so I could discuss things with a professional.

      It might be uncomfortable to address problems head-on and risk getting feelings hurt, but it’s plain that it can’t keep going the way it’s going or you’re going to be miserable. I wish you the best of luck, Jen, and I hope you find a solution. ❤️

  3. Carol A Hanson says:

    I’ve read the books AND listened to the audios, as well as watched several episodes on Netflix, and I found this article to be immensely helpful. Thanks for writing it!

    1. Little Coffee Fox Team says:

      I’m so glad you found this article helpful!

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